「與貓相伴──愛與自我的追尋」之自我敘說研究

Abstract

本研究主要探討關係中的自我型態，以及如何透過貓寵物的陪伴進行自我與關係修 復的生命經驗。透過自我敘說的方式蒐集與經驗相關的故事，並採取客體關係的觀點作為文本分析的依據，企圖對「我」的生命經驗有一整體性的理解。所得的研究結論如下：

一、早期被照顧者拒絕的關係，經驗到「不夠好」、「不被愛」的自我狀態，而形成保護、拯救、討好與離開等破壞性的關係模式，更在一連串關係的毀滅中，強化了內在自我的匱乏感。 二、從與貓咪相伴的關係中，經驗到安全客體的愛與支持，並在關係投射的過程中 得到矯正性情緒經驗，使自我得以堅實茁壯，並將此一經驗延伸到與人的關係，開展新的人際互動、展望美好人生。

本研究從自我的敘說與理解出發，論述人與寵物互動經驗所帶來的療癒經驗。在研 究建議上，提出有關自我敘說文本深化的書寫方式，以及研究分析理論上之建議。在諮商實務工作上，則鼓勵助人工作者強化當事人之正向關係經驗、探索當事人感興趣之客體，發展新興療癒資源之可能。最後，本研究亦可作為臨床上有關寵物治療或療癒相關議題的質性資料參考。

關鍵字：自我敘說、客體關係、貓、寵物

The purpose of this research is to explore my story about ‘‘self in the relationships’’ and focus on how the companion with cats repair my “self” and the way relating to others. Through self-narrative approach and the Object Relations theory, I tried to get a holistic understanding from my life experience. The results of text analysis are as follows:

1. From the experience of being rejected by my primary caregiver, I felt "I am unloved and not good enough". So I learned to keep relationships with others destructively. I used to protect, rescue, please or leave the ones that I loved. Consequently, I underwent huge destruction of relationships continually, and such experience reinforced the feeling of deficiency. 2. From the relationship with my cat, I perceived a secure object of love and support. Moreover, it became a corrective emotional experience to me by projecting the important relations to her. Such experience of interacting with my cat made me stronger and stronger. Afterwards, the experience extended to my interaction with human beings. I began to develop new patterns of interaction with others, and believed a wonderful future waiting for me.

Throughout the research, a healing experience my cat brought to me was presented and discussed. Accordingly, in the future research, I suggest different writing styles of deepening self-narrative texts and different theories to interpret the materials. Besides, in the counseling practice, I encourage the helping professionals to discover and strengthen their clients’positive relationship, explore the objects their clients interest in and develop new possibilities of healing resources. Finally, this study result could be served as reference of future researches on pet therapy or related healing topics.

Keywords: cat, object relations theory, pet, self-narrative research